You know that verse from Jeremiah? "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." My mom was talking to a friend of mine about faith and trusting in God. She mentioned this verse, but then she said that people focus on this verse and the rarely look at the one that follows: "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Basically, she said, most people think that all they have to do is sit back, relax, and wait for God's great plan for their lives to work out. But we forget that knowing Him takes more than simply sitting back and waiting. We ignore that second verse because it takes discipline and conscious effort.
And I know that this seems so standard, basic... But I must admit that I have done that probably for the majority of my life. I take it for granted that things will just work out and that God will simply be there. And that is true, to some extent, but I have certainly not put any real effort into relationship (whatever that means, anyway) with God for the past four years. Occasionally I have, sure, when something big comes up. But I feel like I'm missing something...something structural... I dunno. For some reason, what my mom said struck me.
I feel like this isn't coming out right...I'm sick of cliche Christian phrases to describe my spiritual life... perhaps that is why I don't do anything in that department...I want to avoid the 'standard' Christian life...I'm so incredibly sick of organized religion and all that comes with it, that I prefer the comfort of un-involment and lazy acknowledgment but disregard for the presence of God. Perhaps I am too hard on myself... I do sense God, all the time. I don't know how to word it, but I feel him... But I'm happy with that and want nothing more. But shouldn't I?
In any case, something is 'amuck'...
And now I'm going to bed...
8 years ago
4 comments:
Funny, I was just thinking of that verse as well. Plans. The accursed things. I'm with you on the whole feeling ashamed of my relationship with God. Actually, what made me really disgusted was the Sunday night worship with friends because I found myself unable to share God with others. Its like I'm tongue tied or something. I agree with your mom about the whole one verse thing too. I recently decided the whole idea of having favorite verses is bullshit because they weren't meant to be read out of context. God wants us to understand in complexities and somehow we have turned Christianity and our lives into the best 'one liners' we can think of' and then argue them with each other. I think one of the best things I ever had to do was memorize entire chapters of the Bible in high school. Romans 8 and Ephesians 1. I need to start a journal!
Hey Amanda, thanks for your post. It's always good to reflect on faith, it's application, and how it's sustained. For whatever it's worth, I do think maybe your a little too hard on yourself, and that maybe you understand more than you know. Whenever we've discussed anything about God, Christianity, or faith I know I've went away feeling I gained and learned alot...thanks for that. Also, it's not neccassarily a bad thing to struggle, search or question...to me, the fact that you realize the cliches to be inadequate and are convicted to move beyond them suggests you've made significant progress. Just keep at it and I'm pretty sure you'll find your way... Take care, maybe I'll see you around sometime in the next couple days.
si, yo tambien e sentido que soy floja y no hago nada para realizar lo que Dios quiere para mi. Pero esta semana...
I've often felt similarly to the way you're describing yourself now...like I take grace for granted by thinking I don't need to exert any discipline or energy into a relationship with God (and yes, what DOES that mean, anyway?)and not wanting to fall into the trap of Christian cliches to make myself feel better.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Sara G.
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