why do i care so much about stupid things?

i love pictures. i love to take them, pretend i actually know what i am doing behind the camera lense, looking for the best angles and shots; i love to print them out and put them in books, to show them to people in person or on facebook or whatever means is available. i love playing around with them and turning memory into a form of art or at least something interesting to look at when i have the need to remember times long gone.

wedding pictures are the one set of photos that one would want to have the liberty to do that with. and they generally end up in the hands of photographers, simply because we couldnt take the pictures ourselves that day and had to depend on someone else to do so. what a ridiculous set up.

everything is different when it comes to weddings. and people accept it cause, well, its a wedding and thats just the way things work. and not to mention that there is alot of profit to be had in the whole business...

i am realizing more and more that i have a really hard time accepting the things over which i have no control. i lose sleep over those sort of things. and i play over and over in my head how i should have handled this or that situation to avoid being in the position i am in at the moment of no control. or how i will attack the problem to gain control again.

egh.

i am frustrated. and i cant sleep. and i have no one to yell at, even if i had the guts to actually do so. and what for, anyway? some things really are not as important as they seem to be.

i mean, seriously, there are people starving in africa; what have i got to complain about?