Yesterday:
Went to the dentist for a quick check-up (had been having some trouble with one of my teeth, super sensative, etc...).
Dentist poked around for a while, found a super sore spot (poke - does that hurt? - yes! - poke - does that hurt? - yes! - poke same spot - does that hurt? - yes!!!). Told me that it was from my wisdom tooth growing in crooked or something, preventing proper care of tooth next to it. Had to come out. It would take 5min, would I like to do it right then? Sure.
Dentist pricks my gums, finds the right spot, pokes me with a needle (don't worry, it won't hurt). Hurts like a bitch.
He waits five minutes, pokes again, does that hurt? No...no...yes!
Hmm...shit. Ok, two more minutes.
Poke - does that hurt?
No.
Ok. He starts pushing on the tooth...
I feel something tear. Searing pain shoots through the whole left side of my face. That hurts! (Which with two hands in my mouth and a metal thingy stuck into my gums, sounded more like "aaaat uuuuuthsss!).
Weird. You shouldn't feel anything...
New shot. Hurts too. This shit is totally not working. Sent to waiting room for ten minutes. Suspect dentist and assistant of plotting evil till I come back.
Called back, sit in chair, hide slightly shaky hands, dentist tries to make a joke. Poke - hurt? - no - hurt? - no - hurt? - no.
Ok, try again. Metal thingy back in place, lodge under tooth, push it up out of my jaw... Fuck! (came out sort of like "uuugk!"). See white things floating around me. Realize I've started crying. (the embarassing kind, with the scrunchy face, snotty nose, weird gurgle sounds, can't stop...). I'm apologizing (why the hell am I apologizing? they're the one's torturing me with sadistic persistance!)
Dentist and assistant exchange some kinda of code look. She changes position, sits on my other side, holds my arm down in the chair. Dentist: it's dislodged, I can't leave it like that, it has to come out. Ready?
Are you kidding me?!?!
Poke, yank, dig, and tada! Here's your tooth! Would you like to take it home? He smiles.
My cheek is completely numb. My jaw is on fire. I have a hole in my mouth spouting blood mixed with the rubbery taste of numbing stuff... I have a wad of gauze clenched in my jaw, rapidly absorbing all liquids and then squishing them out every time I move my mouth. My makeup has moved from my eyes to dribbles coming off my chin, and I'm pretty sure my nose is dripping with snot. I take the tooth, thank the dentist, try to laugh at his last few jokes, and walk out with the last bit of dignity left in me.
8 years ago
4 comments:
amanda you could be a writer.
a female david sedaris.
i know its wrong but i was laughing through most of that. Take pleasure in knowing my next dental checkup will most likely be like that one (its been a good 3 maybe 4 years now). They have to repair my damn half fake front tooth (for the third time)also and was the reason i went in the last time also.
oh! That's so awful. My jaws hurt as I read that. The dentist is the worst!
if it helps, I had a similar teeth pulling experience but it wasn't my hands shaking but the dentists. He shakily and forcefully pulled out my eye tooth and dropped it down my throat. I had to sit up and cough it up and act unaffected. I wanted to swear like you did but somehow we've been convinced that hiding that kind of pain is most dignified.
maybe.
miss you!
oh, i was anything but dignified!
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