como te va?

i'm doing well.
not exactly where i hope to be these days.
i thought i'd be working hard, building my way up in some brilliant career in psychology, slowly becoming famous and well respected for my great insight and innovative work...
instead, i just barely graduated, haven't even had a job interview, still don't know where i am going or what i'll be doing, am grasping at every possibility that might lead to work, and am trying to convince myself that it's ok to take it slow and that i should find meaning in the little things i do do, like rummikub with old ladies and keeping the house in order so my hard working husband who IS building up in his career doesn't have to help clean on saturdays and can actually have a day of rest.
i was feeling sorry for myself one morning about it all, then i went to the psych clinic where i accompany some of the patients on walks around the neighborhood, and this 83 yr old told me without a trace of emotion, her entire life story (which was not particularl easy or pleasant) up to the last week in whcih she had attempted suicide.
ah, my little problems and insecurities, though certainly real and worth addressing, are at least not even close to bad enough to lose all meaning in life and wish it to end. i can live with this. and really, i've got it good. i was secretly enjoying the life of a housewife (just too ashamed to admit it cause, well, every modern girl should take full advantage of her possibilities and staying at home is simply a waste of all those years that the feminists fought for our freedom...) but now i'm just gonna accept that i enjoy some parts of this, not feel so guilty for not putting my brand-spankin-new diploma to good use, and feel better about myself.
it does help to not even look at job ads: "psychologist wanted; min 5 yrs experience; preferably fantastic stats skills and extensive knowledge of SPSS and related systems; good management skills; good analytic skills; strong leadership skills; great at conflict resolution; conscienscious, responsible, flexible, driven, client-oriented; will only be considered if a) in emergency situations can slip in and out of a phone both in seconds, coming out with a blue suit with a bright S on the front and fly away to save the world, and/or b) have a thick beard, clear blue eyes, white flowing robes, and a perceptable halo floating over head."

soccer momentarily removes all worries. HUP HOLLAND!