ever hear yourself talking in a group and wish you could make yourself shut up but you can't so you just keep going while silently wishing to yourself that no one else notices how annoying you are? all those things that i can't stand in other people seem to just flow out of me with no control. i realized that i start to do this when i become comfortable in a group. this is, of course, a sign of a good thing. i have found a little niche where i fit, or feel that i fit, where i can be at home enough to let loose and relax. but there is a saftey in being unknown; it's dangerous to get too comfortable. i can just watch all those annoying, loud, obnoxious, "look-at-me-look-at-me" parts that i normally keep tightly packed away in a group of strangers and lesser-knowns bubbling to the surface and coming out when i let my guard down or have a glass of white wine. i find myself half wishing to move again before it's too late.
of course, i probably am more aware of those parts of myself than anyone else (i hope). and i seem more annoying and obnoxious to myself than anyone else (i hope). at least, no one has complained yet to me.
on a side note, this is the amazing thing about marriage... someone who has known me long and well enough to see these parts of me that i most hate has chosen to spend his life with me. though, i think secretly he's more amused than annoyed when i find myself loosening the belt and letting my hidden less-than-attractive underbelly blubber out into the open.
so anyway...
i don't really have a point. well, maybe i do. i want to know if you have this too. i'd feel so much better about myself if i knew that everyone else dislikes themselves sometimes.
hah!, ain't that just sweet?
8 years ago
3 comments:
don't fret, we all thing you are annoying and obnoxious too.
uhm... not true. i think we all know our own faults best so when they occur we notice them. i've found that most people don't pay that close of attention to our actions/ mannerisms, so fret not.
Yes, and yes. The worst is when you can hear yourself talking and can't stop. Ahhhggh.
1. I don't think you are obnoxious or talk too much. (Does this mean you're not comfortable around me?)
2. I think we all are our worst critics.
3. Yes, I dislike myself at times too, but for different reason. The only person I catch myself blabbering too much to is Dee and she puts up with it quite well, like the good wife she is. :)
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