introducing mrs. s.

the heater at the old folks home is messed up. it never turns on when we want it to and it turns off when we don't want it to. the two rooms we use for activities with the old folks are often a bit cool, particularly if you are an 80year old lady who settles into your unofficially claimed seat at the table and only move if absolutely necessarily thus reducing activity and bloodflow to about null. we do our best to keep the ladies and occasional gentleman warm, but there's only so much we can do when the heater is unresponsive.

mrs. s. is a... - how to put this nicely? -....a colorful lady. personally, i find her extremely amusing. some of my colleagues are slightly less amused after years of working with her full time. we'll see how i fair after a few more months.

this is a short replay of my conversations with mrs. s. yesterday; the heater was fixed a couple days ago and seems to be responding properly.

"it's so cold in here!"

oh, i'll turn up the heater a bit. just let me quick finish this card.

"you'd think warmth would be more important here with all the old ladies in the room."

just a minute mrs. s....on my way.

*mrs. j. on the other side of the room mutters not-quite-under-her-breath: "there she goes again!"

"it's still cold in here! this morning it was so nice and cosy when we came in. but the heater is cold to the touch, it's not working any more."

well, mrs. s., we set the heater to a temperature, and it turns itself off once that temperature is reached. we've set it to 22degrees, so it must be 22degrees in here.

"well, obviously the thermometer is in another room, cause it certainly isn't 22degrees in here!"

would you like the stola (big thick shawl)?

"certainly not! i'm not the only one that's cold in here so why should i be the only one to get a stola? you (the caregivers) should make make sure there are enough stolas here for everyone!"

are you offering your knitting skills, mrs. s.?

"me? knit!? phaw! never."

well, i think you are the only one who is cold in here. i'm sure no one would mind if you wear the stola. would you like me to get it for you?

"no. i don't want it."

*mrs. j.: "what a whiner."

"ugh! it is still so cooooold in here."

really? i am sweating! i've set the temperature to 24degrees now.

"there's no way it's 24 degrees in here. you're just warm cause you walk around doing things."

would you like to do some exercises?

"i can't exercise in this wheelchair!" (she can walk but sits in a wheelchair with her legs straight out, something to do with her back. she also wears a brace).

we could do some arm exercises, get some blood flowing.

"you can't warm up from just moving your arms."

perhaps mr. s., you should consider wearing warmer clothes when coming here since you always find it so cold. or maybe bring a scarf?

"do you know how many layers i am wearing?! i have nylons on, wollen socks, slacks, boots, and a flannel shirt! i am packed in, but still cold, so it must be this room!"

but you are still cold. an extra sweater might still be a good idea.

"no, then i'll be too hot in the bus. you should make sure it's warm enough in here! old ladies in the cold, we'll all get sick. you just don't believe we are cold. "

*this followed by a chorus of "oh, but i'm not cold at all! it's quite cosy here." by all the other ladies...

oh, i believe you are cold, mrs. s. but i can't really do much more that turn up the heat and offer you the stola or some exercise.

"well, if i'd known it was going to be so cold here today, i would have stayed home!"

*mrs. j. (under her breath for the whole room to hear): "well, why didn't you then you old grump!"